The 5 biggest mistakes people make in relationships

In today’s show you will….

learn what the five biggest mistakes people make in any relationship are, and how to defeat them!

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NOTES

Five Biggest Mistakes People Make in Relationships

1. Poor Communication (not listening by reloading)

Solution: Listen, understand, validate and empathize

Listen and hear my voice; pay attention and hear what I say. (Is. 28:23)

2. Poor self-care…you end up empty and exhausted

Solution…you’ll have to tune in next episode for the solution!

ARTIST HIGHLIGHT

Matt Brouwer – Where’s Our Revolution – Click here to view on iTunes

BROUGHT TO YOU BY SMALLEY CENTER – IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS ON LIFE SUPPORT, GIVE US A CALL AT 800-975-8748.

Tags: communication, conflict resolution, The 5 Biggest Mistakes People Make in RelationshipsMy passion is help you get it, so your relationships don't completely stress you out! That's why "The DNA of Relationships" study is so important, or the book my wife and I barely survived writing (because we are so different...we almost killed each other. You'll have to read the book to understand.), will revolutionize the way you resolve conflict. "The Surprising Way to a Stronger Marriage". Click on the links to learn more about those resources and find more that will help you love each other like you never dreamed possible!

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6 Sex Mistakes Women Make

By Paula Spencer Scott

WebMD Feature

Wish your sex life were different, better, hotter? It's easy to blame your partner for not flying you to the moon. But maybe you're grounding yourself. These six common mistakes may keep you from the sexual pleasure you deserve. But you can fix them.

It can become a habit: He starts, you respond (or not). Or maybe you're frozen by the stereotype that "guys make the first move." Or you dread being turned down.

"I hear from a lot of men who say, 'I hate being the one who has to decide when and if we have sex,'" says New York sex therapist Ian Kerner.

The fix: Resolve to take the lead. If you're shy, start by flirting or planning a dinner out. "Even if you won't have sex for a while, you'll set yourself up to have a sexy moment," Kerner says.

Don't be angry or hurt if he's too tired or stressed. "Women often take rejection to heart," Kerner says. "Guys tend to just figure they'll make an overture and have a 1 in 3 chance of being rejected."

There's a good reason why your guy is probably more likely to give you a gift like sexy lingerie than a handbag. He likes how you look in it -- a lot.

"Women tell me, 'But I find him hot in his old boxers!'" Kerner says. "They don’t understand why he doesn't like her thermal chicken-print pajamas." The reason: Men respond most to visual stimulation, while women tend to use touch, sounds, smell, words, and emotions to get aroused, research shows.

The fix: Ditch the long johns – at least some nights. You don't have to wear lace or dominatrix gear, if that's not your style. But you'll do you both a favor if you pick bedclothes that show off your body and make you feel sexy.

Don't believe that "real" women have vaginal orgasms. Or -- thanks to porn and a Sex and the City episode -- that female ejaculation, or "squirting," is the norm. 

"Women are convinced it will enhance their experience," says Madeleine M. Castellanos, MD, a sex therapist and assistant professor of psychiatry at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine. "But only 5% to 6% of women naturally squirt, and you can damage pelvic floor muscles by trying."

The fix: Relax. Trying to climax a certain way only puts you on edge.

"Most women need clitoral stimulation for orgasm," Castellanos says. Because the clitoris is rich with nerves, grinding against your partner, oral sex, or hand stimulation can do the job. A nice stretch of foreplay helps most women climax, Kerner notes.  

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6 Marriage Mistakes for Women

Avoiding these 6 things may make for a better marriage.

Attention, married women: What you don't know about marriage may spell trouble.

For instance, if you don't speak up for what you want, your husband is flying blind -- and not likely to deliver. And the way you talk about your issues may be making matters worse. And then there's the bedroom.

Getting married is easy. Being married can be trickier. Here is some expert advice to avoid or correct six common mistakes that can cost a marriage, or at the least, weaken its foundations. Whether it's you or your spouse making these mistakes, taking positive action can make a big difference.

Some wives are too willing to give up on what they want, says Susan Heitler, PhD. She is a Denver-based clinical psychologist and author of Power of Two, a marriage skills-building course.

Heitler calls it "appendage-itis," in which the wife is basically being an accessory to the husband, instead of being a full and equal partner in the marriage.

Some women tend to be "all about him" rather than all about themselves, as men tend to be, Heitler says.

"Usually, they're afraid it could make a fight or some unpleasantness, or they just think somehow, on a subconscious level, in order to preserve the relationship, they have to diminish what they themselves want," she says. The sense of helplessness leads to anger that eventually boils over, she says.

Her solution? Express your concerns rationally, whether about housework or parenting duties, or about not getting enough time with your husband or for yourself. He may like golfing on weekends while she may want him around for family time, for example. "If she spoke up, they might be able to work out a better arrangement," Heitler says. "Maybe they'd switch to a softball league in the summer where it would be a family event.''

Couples that function the best in marriage have made their expectations clear from the outset about division of labor, parenthood, and money, says family and marriage therapist Eli Karam, PhD. He is an assistant professor of couples therapy at the University of Louisville.

But many couples don't have those discussions and are operating on auto-pilot. "Lots of couples operate on what they assume in their head because they grew up that way, that if it works for them, it works for their partners," Karam says.

Resentment can easily build if expectations differ or are dashed on the rocks of hard reality. For example, he says some women "think having a baby will change their husband or bring him closer. What we know about marriage satisfaction is that it takes a massive dip when the first child is born. If they knew that before marriage ... it would help them navigate normal roadblocks and not freak out when it happens."

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