The 5 biggest mistakes people make in relationships

In today’s show you will….

learn what the five biggest mistakes people make in any relationship are, and how to defeat them!

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And by the way, if you haven’t left a review yet in iTunes, don’t be shy, it’s easy to do and it really lets me know you’re listening (as a thank you, after your review is submitted, I’ll send you a special free gift).

If your marriage needs help, please call us at 800-975-8748 to hear how the Smalley Intensive program can help you today.

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NOTES

Five Biggest Mistakes People Make in Relationships

1. Poor Communication (not listening by reloading)

Solution: Listen, understand, validate and empathize

Listen and hear my voice; pay attention and hear what I say. (Is. 28:23)

2. Poor self-care…you end up empty and exhausted

Solution…you’ll have to tune in next episode for the solution!

ARTIST HIGHLIGHT

Matt Brouwer – Where’s Our Revolution – Click here to view on iTunes

BROUGHT TO YOU BY SMALLEY CENTER – IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS ON LIFE SUPPORT, GIVE US A CALL AT 800-975-8748.

Tags: communication, conflict resolution, The 5 Biggest Mistakes People Make in RelationshipsMy passion is help you get it, so your relationships don't completely stress you out! That's why "The DNA of Relationships" study is so important, or the book my wife and I barely survived writing (because we are so different...we almost killed each other. You'll have to read the book to understand.), will revolutionize the way you resolve conflict. "The Surprising Way to a Stronger Marriage". Click on the links to learn more about those resources and find more that will help you love each other like you never dreamed possible!

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Women and anger (Everyday Relationships Radio with Dr. Greg Smalley)

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 37:49 — 8.7MB)

On our previous program we discussed men and anger, and on this episode, we explore women and anger…if that’s even a real thing.

Susie assures us women are always poised and perfect.

But, just in case, we’ll help moms, wives and women deal with root causes of their anger and how they can deal with it in a healthy way.

And by the way, if you haven’t left a review yet in iTunes, don’t be shy, it’s easy to do and it really lets me know you’re listening (as a thank you, after your review is submitted, I’ll send you a special free gift).

If your marriage needs help, please call us at 800-975-8748 to hear how the Smalley Intensive program can help you today.

FEATURED RESOURCE

Tags: anger, anger management, Dr. Greg Smalley, Everyday Relationships Radio, women and anger

My new role as Vice President at Focus on the Family gives me the opportunity to serve millions of marriages and families around the world. I'm honored to continue my dad's legacy in helping couples and families learn how to honor God and each other in how they communicate and resolve conflict. One of my foundational life messages was developed with my dad, brother, and an entire team while living in Branson, "The DNA of Relationships" DVD series. I want to encourage you to pursue a community of believers through the power of a small group. It's why we produce these curriculums. They really do help you keep all your relationships focused and moving forward.

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Chronic Illness and Relationships: Communicating and Managing Stress

Don't let chronic illness weaken the bond between you and your partner.

Having a chronic illness such as diabetes, arthritis, or multiple sclerosis can take a toll on even the best relationship. The partner who's sick may not feel the way he or she did before the illness. And the person who's not sick may not know how to handle the changes. The strain may push both people's understanding of "in sickness and in health" to its breaking point.

Studies show that marriages in which one spouse has a chronic illness are more likely to fail if the spouses are young. And spouses who are caregivers are six times more likely to be depressed than spouses who do not need to be caregivers.

Clinical psychologist Rosalind Kalb, vice president of the professional resource center at the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, says, "Even in the best marriages, it's hard.  You feel trapped, out of control, and helpless."

But with patience and commitment, there are ways you and your partner can deal with the strain a chronic illness can place on your relationship.

Relationships can suffer when people don't discuss problems that have no easy or obvious solution, Kalb says. And that lack of discussion can lead to feelings of distance and a lack of intimacy.

"Finding ways to talk openly about challenges," she says, "is the first step toward effective problem-solving and the feelings of closeness that come from good teamwork."

Marybeth Calderone has limited use of her legs and hands because of a neurological disorder called Charcot-Marie-Tooth. Her husband Chris says that figuring out when to communicate is his biggest challenge.

"My wife gets frustrated with herself when she can't do things, like organize our 8-year-old daughter's desk," he says. "A lot of times, I'm not sure if Marybeth is angry at me or with her condition. Often, I try to figure it out on my own and don't say anything.”

The right level of communication is key. Boston College social work professor Karen Kayser says, "If the couple is consumed with talking about the illness, that's a problem. If they never talk about it, it's also a problem. You have to find a middle ground."

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When a Kiss Is More Than Just a Kiss

Study suggests it may help you size up potential long-term mates

By Robert Preidt

HealthDay Reporter

(HealthDay News) -- "A kiss is just kiss," the old song goes, but not according to a new study that finds kissing helps people assess potential partners and, once in a relationship, keep them around.

The study included more than 900 adults who took part in an online questionnaire that asked about the importance of kissing in both short- and long-term relationships. In general, women rated kissing as more important in relationships than men.

Kissing was also rated more important by men and women who viewed themselves as being attractive, or who tended to have more short-term relationships and casual encounters, according to the findings, which appeared Oct. 11 in the journals Archives of Sexual Behavior and Human Nature.

Previous studies have shown that women tend to be more selective when initially choosing a partner, as do men and women who are more attractive or have more casual sex partners.

Since these are the same groups that tended to value kissing more in their survey responses, it suggests that kissing helps in sizing up potential mates, the Oxford University researchers said.

They noted that it has been suggested that kissing may allow people to subconsciously assess a potential partner through taste or smell, thus taking in biological cues for compatibility, genetic fitness or general health.

Previous research also has found that women place greater value on behaviors that strengthen long-term relationships. This survey found that the importance of kissing changed depending on whether people were in a short- or long-term relationship, and that women rated kissing as more important in long-term relationships.

This suggests that kissing also plays an important role in maintaining affection and attachment among established couples, the researchers said.

"Kissing in human sexual relationships is incredibly prevalent in various forms across just about every society and culture. Kissing is seen in our closest primate relatives -- chimps and bonobos -- but it is much less intense and less commonly used," study author Rafael Wlodarski said in a news release from the journals.

"So here's a human courtship behavior which is incredibly widespread and common and, in extent, is quite unique," Wlodarski said. "And we are still not exactly sure why it is so widespread or what purpose it serves."

These new findings may provide some answers.

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